Tuesday 10 November 2009

My Place


By Norman Hewitt

I know my Place
I wont question the rules
I cant blame my tools
I can suffer fools
I admire better schools
I know my place

I know my place
I doff my cap to the boss
I do give a toss
I don’t count the cost
I will respect dross
I know my place

I know my place
I respect my superior
I think I’m inferior
I keep a cheery exterior
I maintain this theory for
I know my place

I know my place
Although I would just like to say that life can grow tiresome
Having to suffer patronage and continued humiliation
From those people of supposedly better upbringing
Fine breeding and higher social class

I rest my case!

Coming Out

Life would be easy if I came out as gay

My old friend Bill would like it that way

I would build a love nest with a garden and gate

And watch football on telly with my lover and mate.

Act One Scene One


Act 1 Scene 1

Ruskington Garden Centre
The sound of rustling foliage as a dishevelled Agatha enters from stage left.
Agatha: Sir; You have me come undone, I swoon away.
More rustling sounds as Bruce enters stage left
Bruce (in an Australian accent): Aw; Come on Ags, show us your knickers!
Enter Rupert stage right drawing his sword.
Rupert: Fear not dear Agatha your Rupert is hear.
(turns to Bruce)
Rupert: Ah Ha you scurvy knave, have at you sir, I will run you through with my trusty foil. On guard sir.
(Bruce picks up a nearby pitchfork and plunges it deep into Ruperts chest)
Bruce: Aw pis off Rupert.
Rupert falls to ground while Bruce chases Agatha round the foliage.
Bruce: Aw, come on Ags, show us your knickers.
urtains.